Giving up? Forget it! Discover your inner strength and learn to deal confidently with setbacks.

Entdecke, wie jeder Rückschlag dich stärker macht. Baue Selbstvertrauen auf und übernimm Verantwortung für dein Leben. Resilienz ist der Schlüssel.
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Authors: Julia Blömer & Dr. Steffen Blömer

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Short version:

  • Success and failure are closely intertwined and a part of life. Defeats are painful, but they offer you the chance to learn from them. to learn and to become stronger.

  • Defeats test our willpower and reveal areas for improvement. Learning from failure. strengthens us mentally. So, strike the word "give up" from your vocabulary.

  • Resilience means that you recover from setbacks and how you cope with crises. Resilient people are characterized by self-confidence, optimism, and a willingness to accept help.

  • Your personality plays a key role in how you deal with stress and pressure. Through a Personality test You can see how strong your resilience skills are.

6 reflection questions to help you deal with defeats:

  • What exactly went wrong?
  • What insights have I gained from this experience?
  • What other way could I have acted?
  • How can I apply what I have learned in future situations?
  • What steps can I take to recover from this setback?
  • Did I listen to others, even if they had no knowledge of the topic?

7 steps to staying strong in difficult times:

  • Building self-confidence
  • Take responsibility and gain focus
  • Defeats – stepping stones on the road to success
  • A change of perspective – your new viewpoint
  • Set realistic (intermediate) goals.
  • Find a supportive network
  • Changing direction as a necessary feat of strength

Strong women who paved the way:

  • Tarana Burke – The voice behind #MeToo
  • Malala Yousafzai – Unwavering in her commitment to education
  • Kathrine Switzer – marathon pioneer
  • Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie – Opening Worlds with Words
  • Ruth Bader Ginsburg – Fighting for equality
  • Ellen Johnson Sirleaf – Demonstrating Leadership


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Jeder Rückschlag macht dich stärker - Lerne, mit Herausforderungen umzugehen, baue Selbstvertrauen auf und übernimm Verantwortung für dein Leben.
Giving up? Never! 7 steps to better cope with setbacks.


Table of contents

    Introduction: Why setbacks are worth their weight in gold

    Did you know that Oprah Winfrey at the beginning of her career fired as a news reporter What happened? Her television career seemed to be over before it had even really begun.

    But Oprah didn't give up. From this defeat, she built a media empire and today has a fortune of approximately 2.8 billion US dollars.

    So, our question for you is: Does every setback make you stronger?

    Sure! After a setback, you just need to "pick yourself up." But that's precisely where the problem lies.

    • Why do some people have an unwavering "giving up is not an option" mentality?

    • How do they manage to take responsibility for themselves and their actions?

    Other people, however, cannot cope with defeat. Their approach to failure is characterized by self-doubt, resignation, and frustration. They think there's no point in trying any further.

    Your mindset and your behavior

    But what distinguishes these two groups from each other? The answer lies primarily in the mindset and attitude against setbacks.

    Setbacks are not obstacles, but opportunities. They reveal our weaknesses and allow us to work on them and become stronger.

    If you think positively and learn from your mistakes, you won't give up so easily in difficult times.

    „"The obstacle that blocks the way becomes the way."“ Marcus Aurelius

    We would like to cordially invite you to delve deeper into the fascinating topic of resilience and the ability of body and mind to withstand adversity.

    In our article you will learn that setbacks are an unavoidable part of your growth. 

    Success and failure are two sides of the same coin.

    One decision, one moment – this can decide victory or defeat. Sometimes the coin lands on the right side, other times on the wrong.

    We all constantly experience highs and lows, successes and failures, whether in our careers, relationships, or sports. Defeats are part of our journey, and every setback makes you stronger.

    Why do failures hurt? Because we think we've failed at life. Or we think we've failed. Others' expectations not met have. But it is precisely here that a hidden... Opportunity for strength.

    Learning and turning defeats into experiences

    Defeats hit hard. They shake our self-image because they awaken the feeling of not being good enough in life. They test our willpower and our strength. Being strong when everything is against you doesn't mean never stumbling, but rather getting back up determinedly every time.

    Every setback carries a message. Perhaps it reveals a weakness or a skill we need to improve. Such moments shape our self-esteem. They make us more resilient – a key quality for everyone. long-term success.

    Learning from mistakes requires courage and the conviction that "giving up" is not an option. Take „"Give up? Never!"“ as a guiding principle, not just a slogan. 

    6 reflection questions to dealing with defeats

    • What exactly went wrong? Analyze the situation that led to the defeat. What were the immediate reasons? This will help you identify the root of the problem.

    • What insights have I gained from this experience? Even the bitterest defeat contains a lesson. Ask yourself what skills or insights you were able to gain from it.

    • What other way could I have acted? Consider which alternative decisions or actions would have led to a different outcome. This reflection can positively influence future actions.

    • How can I apply what I have learned in future situations? Think about how you can use your newly gained insights for future challenges.

    • What steps can I take to recover from this setback? Develop a strategy to emerge stronger from the situation. Identify the resources or support you need.

    • Did I listen to others, even if they had no knowledge of the topic? „Advice“ is often just that – advice… Carefully consider which tips you want to accept.

    Being strong doesn't mean never falling. Being resilient means getting back up and moving forward, regardless of the obstacles you encounter.

    Setbacks are unexpected gifts. They offer us the opportunity to show what we are capable of. 

    Resilience explained simply

    Resilient behavior It's your secret to getting back up after a fall. It's that invisible shield that protects you from life's blows.

    Resilience makes you psychologically tough, enabling you to overcome challenges and setbacks without losing your courage or confidence.

    It's about learning from setbacks, recovering quickly from negative experiences, and emerging stronger from difficult situations.

    Key qualities of resilient people

    Resilient people see problems as opportunities to improve their skills and develop further. Resilient individuals possess self-confidence, self-efficacy, and optimism.

    They know how to find and accept emotional support. These skills enable them to deal with setbacks with composure and not let themselves be defeated.

    Strengthening resilience

    You can specifically train your resilience. Here are some ways:

    • Strengthening self-efficacy: Set yourself achievable goals. Achieving these goals will strengthen your self-confidence. You can learn more about this in our Blog post about self-efficacy.

    • Handling defeats with composure: See mistakes as opportunities to learn. Instead of asking "What am I doing wrong?", ask: "What can I do better in the future?".

    • Accepting failure: Understand that setbacks are a part of life. Allow yourself to grieve, but remain steadfast.

    Resilience helps you stay strong during tough times. Always remember: Giving up is never an option. With every setback, your inner strength grows and you can Overcoming self-doubt.

    By consciously training resilience, you prepare yourself for all of life's storms and discover your true strength.

    Your resilience under scrutiny

    Resilience – the resilient spirit within you. How strong is it?

    You can find out through targeted self-reflection. A personality test with specific questions will give you the answer.

    10 reflection questions that will shed light on your resilience

    • How do I deal with setbacks? Consider whether you tend to give up quickly or are motivated to find solutions.

    • Am I good at regulating my emotions? Reflect on how you react in stressful situations and whether you have your emotions under control.

    • Where can I find support? Think about whether you can rely on people or inner convictions when things get difficult.

    • How do I set goals? Ask yourself if your goals are realistic and worthwhile, and how you deal with obstacles.

    • What successes have I already achieved? Remember previous milestones and what they have taught you.

    • How flexible am I? Consider how well you adapt to new situations and whether you can change quickly.

    • What motivates me? Identify what drives you and how you motivate yourself when enthusiasm fades.

    • How strong is my self-confidence? Assess how much you believe in yourself and your abilities.

    • How do I learn from mistakes? Think about whether you are willing to learn from setbacks and how you will do so.

    • How well do I take care of myself? Reflect on whether you are paying enough attention to your needs and practicing self-care.

    Each answer to these questions gives you insight into your resilience. They show you where you are already well-positioned and in which areas there is still potential.

    Your personality as the key

    Your Character traits These characteristics clearly show whether you have a positive way of dealing with stress and pressure. A personality test can then use these traits to accurately assess the strength of your resilience skills.

    Here are some examples of helpful skills for coping with stress:

    • Change competence: Do you approach new situations with an open mind? Do you see change as an opportunity?

    • Networking: How robust is your social network? Do you actively ask for help when needed?

    • Self-discipline: Do you set yourself goals and stick with them even in difficult moments?

    Every step you take to strengthen your resilience is a step towards a fulfilling life. With each passing day, you grow beyond your perceived limitations.

    7 steps to staying strong in difficult times

    Building self-confidence

    Trust in yourself opens doors and allows you to face challenges more courageously. Forget the question, "What am I doing wrong in life?".

    Recognize that perfection is not the goal. It's about making progress and learning from mistakes.

    • „What am I good at?“ list: What skills are you particularly good at? This list clearly shows you where your talents lie. And celebrate your successes every day.

    • Small steps, big impactChange takes time. Every small step adds up over time. Every goal achieved boosts your self-confidence.

    • Break with old patterns: Every day offers you the chance to learn something new. Dare to break old routines and create positive habits.

    Over time, you will realize how strong you really are. Self-confidence It doesn't happen overnight, but every step counts. Stick with it, be patient with yourself, and remember: you don't have to be perfect to be great.

    From actor to director – take on responsibility and gain focus

    Sometimes we feel like we're in a movie whose script someone else is writing. But to get through tough times strong, you have to become the director of your own life. That means taking charge of your own destiny. to take responsibility.

    The decisions are yours.

    Every decision It's in your hands. Experiencing defeat is not the end, but an opportunity to learn. Never let others belittle you. When you take responsibility, you leave the victim role behind. You begin to shape your daily life with more purpose and direction.

    Live your life

    It's about consciously making decisions that bring you closer to your goals. Every step strengthens your self-confidence and your ability to cope with setbacks. Become the director of your own life – take the reins.

    Defeats – stepping stones on the road to success

    Defeats? Part of life. The path to success? Never straight.

    Every hurdle we overcome, every stumbling block on our path, only makes us stronger. Remaining strong in difficult times reveals our true strength.

    Learn from the best

    The stories successful people This confirms it. They all had to overcome setbacks before success came. These experiences shaped them and built their resilience.

    The key is not to regret the past, but to see it as a lesson.

    Forward and upward

    Accept setbacks as part of your growth process. Embracing them teaches us more than suppressing them. Every mistake, every obstacle provides valuable insights. Use them to shape your future.

    Successes often stand on the shoulders of past failures. Remain steadfast, be willing to learn, and grow with every experience. That is the key to true success.

    A change of perspective: A new viewpoint

    Do you sometimes feel like you've failed at life? It's time to change your perspective. Learn how this step can help you and why perfection doesn't have to be the goal.

    Change mindset

    Your reality is shaped by your thoughts. If you're stuck in negative loops, try a new approach. Mistakes and setbacks are learning opportunities, not failures. Every obstacle helps you grow.

    Exercises for new perspectives

    • Gratitude journalWrite down three things you are grateful for each day. This practice will help you focus on the positive.

    • Reframing techniqueIf negative thoughts overwhelm you, ask yourself what a role model of yours would do. This opens the door to... Path to new solutions.

    • Positive self-talkListen to your inner voice. Replace criticism with words of encouragement. Remember: You don't have to be perfect to be successful.

    Don't let yourself get down, neither by others nor by yourself. A new perspective can enrich your life. By directing your thoughts positively, you open yourself up to new paths and opportunities.

    Set realistic (intermediate) goals.

    In challenging times, a clear plan is valuable. Realistic intermediate goals They light the way. They motivate you to take a step forward every day.

    Choose achievable goals

    Choose goals that challenge you but are achievable. Overly ambitious goals are only demotivating. Celebrate every small success. This will keep you motivated and build your self-confidence.

    Your path to the goal

    Develop a plan with clear milestones. Make them as specific as possible. Visualize your progress – it's motivating. And don't forget to celebrate each milestone you reach. These successes will encourage you and show that you're getting closer to your big goal.

    Remember, every step forward makes you stronger and builds your resilience. Realistic goals equip you to face any challenge.

    Find a supportive network

    In challenging times, a supportive environment It's enormous. It helps you overcome defeats and motivates you to never give up.

    Success and failure are often closely linked – the right people around you recognize this and support you.

    Choose your companions wisely.

    Seek out friends and confidants who will motivate you after setbacks and stand firmly by your side. Not everyone can understand how you can get back on your feet after a fall. Surround yourself with people who encourage your ambitions and believe in your abilities.

    Filter the opinions

    It's important to accept constructive criticism. But don't let yourself be influenced by every opinion. Not all advice will help you. Listen to those who understand your path and have the necessary experience or wisdom to support you.

    A strong network gives you support and motivates you to persevere, even when it's difficult. With the right support, you'll master every challenge and grow from every setback.

    Changing direction as a necessary feat of strength

    Doubts like „"What am I doing wrong in life?"“ They can be overwhelming. But remember: Giving up? That's not an option. 

    It's time to actively take responsibility and perhaps even chart a new course.

    Strengthen self-esteem

    Taking control of your life means giving your self-esteem a boost. Decisions should always reflect your deeper life motives. This approach not only strengthens your inner well-being but also manifests itself in a more confident demeanor.

    Intuition as a guide

    Your gut feeling is a faithful companion. It helps you recognize the right moment for change. Trust it. inner voice. It guides you to what you want in life.

    Taking an alternative path is not a sign of failure, but of strength. Seek inspiration that propels you forward and rekindles old passions. A change of direction offers the opportunity to grow and evolve.

    Strong women who paved the way

    Tarana Burke – The voice behind #MeToo

    Burke With #MeToo, she launched a movement that shows: difficulties only make us stronger. Millions of women found courage and self-confidence through her.

    Malala Yousafzai – Unwavering in her commitment to education

    Yousafzai She survived an attack because she believed in the importance of girls' education. She continues to fight bravely for it. Her commitment makes one thing clear: Stand up for yourself and others.

    Kathrine Switzer – marathon pioneer

    1972 was Switzer The first woman to officially run the Boston Marathon. Her courage opened the sport up to other women. She shows how strength can overcome barriers.

    Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie – Opening Worlds with Words

    Adichie She broke down prejudices with her stories. As an author and feminist, she inspires women everywhere to be authentic and forge their own paths.

    Ruth Bader Ginsburg – Fighting for equality

    Ginsburg She championed women's rights on the US Supreme Court. Her work inspires as a symbol of justice and equality.

    Ellen Johnson Sirleaf – Demonstrating Leadership

    Liberia's first female president Sirleaf She brought the country out of the war. She proved that women are strong and effective leaders.

    These strong women have shown that it's possible to overcome obstacles and make a positive difference. Their courage and successes might also motivate you to never give up and to fight for your dreams.

    Motivation after a defeat – 3 inspiring quotes

    „"I haven't failed – I've discovered 10,000 ways that didn't work."“Thomas Edison

    “Whoever always does what they already know how to do, always remains what they already are.”Henry Ford

    “The biggest mistake you can make in life is to be constantly afraid of making a mistake.”Elbert Hubbard

    Conclusion: Your path forward

    Always remember: What knocks you down only makes you stronger. Life tests us with challenges, but it's precisely these moments that propel us forward. They teach us to be persistent and to persevere. To follow passion.

    Build your self-confidence

    Self-confidence grows by taking on challenges and risks. With every step outside your comfort zone, you further build your self-confidence.

    Take control of your life

    The key to success is to start immediately. You should set small goals and celebrate your achievements. It's important to seek out challenges that you enjoy. These should also allow you to grow. This way, you can gradually take more responsibility for your situation.

    You have all the tools you need to shape your life according to your own vision. Be courageous, be patient with yourself, and cultivate your resilience.

    Start your new chapter now – full of confidence and strength.

    Your Julia & your Steffen


    Disclaimer: This text is for informational purposes only. If you are experiencing trauma, please seek advice from an expert (e.g., a therapist, counselor, or other professional). Therapists).


    All images and 3D elements used in this post are from Envato Elements and are used under a valid license.


    KeywordsEvery setback makes you stronger, build self-confidence, take responsibility for yourself, train resilience, giving up is not an option, resilience explained simply, deal with defeats, success and failure, be strong in tough times, being strong doesn't mean never falling.


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    Julia Blömer

    Mental & Mindset Coaching

    Dr. Steffen Blömer

    Personality & Career Profiler 

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